the other day on the bus I was playing solitaire on my phone when this dude comes up behind me and asks “how old are you?”. I just looked at him with this stupid expression on my face and he started yelling “FOURTEEN! FOURTEEN!” and trying to wrench my phone out of my hands. I sat there and played tug o’ war with him for about two minutes while he shouted “SHE’S TOO YOUNG! TAKE IT OFF HER!” before the old lady a couple of seats back from me sternly told him “hey, that’s enough!” then the driver intervened and threatened to call the police if he didn’t get off the bus.

what a fucking ordeal, man. the worst part is that I’m like, practically 23. today I caught my reflection and, in fairness, I do look about 14. but still.